Wednesday, November 14, 2007

heaven of hell

these are moments that leave wounds in my soul, healing slowly, scars that disappear with time...

are they just small inconsequential events in life or are they paths to destiny and fate? my heart has felt many pains and anguish for all the moments that were, for moments that were not, and for the hearts that were closed, things that were done, and things that were said. yet, my heart still beats just as strong and my hope for tenderness, love, and belief in goodness of people still remains.

the crisp dewy morning air arouse in me feelings of gladness. one can become a victim of circumstances or victor because of circumstances. this path is not what i have chosen for myself, but i am at this moment, choosing to stop, look around, and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me because i have somehow ended up in this path.

there is destiny. no matter where i am, i know it is where i am suppose to be. not because i have chosen all the paths correctly, but because i am here. when i close my eyes and close my thoughts, i can feel it. there is no anguish, there is no regret, there is only comfort, peace, and love because that is who i am, and always have been.

if you were a flame, i would have allowed myself to be consumed completely. abandoning myself, my destiny, my hope for love, tenderness, and joy, in pursuit of your acceptance.

now that i take a step back, i see that my joy lies in pure hearts nurturing one another with love and tenderness, not in emotional battles that tear one another to pieces...