Thursday, September 20, 2007

pandora's box

it's been two and half weeks since she decided to move in. it wasn't a choice based on our relationship going forward, but more of necessity due to her circumstances.

i may be falling in love with her, but she still keeps a wall around her heart. she still questions my intentions.

she smokes, stays up till the break of dawn, walks around the house without any clothing, and calls me babe, but then she calls everybody babe. she walks freely as if somehow she is protected from the weight and the stress of the world. she twirls around bare footed, running with her two small dogs, and screams out at some man in a truck for throwing garbage out the window.

i go to bed at eleven, embarassed to be seen when not fully dressed, and call her by her name. i slowly move around being cautious where i place my next step, and avoid people as much as i can.

she says we are just like darma and greg, and it makes me laugh.

she kisses me good night, and folds my lanudry and cleans my house as i slumber, and i kiss her forehead while she is fast asleep as i leave for work each morning.

in three weeks, it will all be over and she will be moving to another city. she is excited about her new job, and new everything. she is a free spirit and i can't stop her from being who she is... i am going to miss her...

1 comment:

Memphis Steve said...

Sometimes happiness only comes in small pieces, or brief experiences, and then it's back to the cold dark world again. It can seem like it would have been better to just stay in the cold and be comfortable with the familiar, but it isn't true. Those glimpses of what could be are what sustain us and keep us from giving up. Still, if she left, I'm sure it had to hurt. And if she stayed, I'm curious to know how it's going and if you're happy.