Wednesday, November 15, 2006

cold cold heart

her eyes are watering as she screams out in frustration. why can't you love me? are you not capable of loving? i have opened up to you and you, you, you just have this wall around you... let me in...

i wish i could tell her. i wish i could tell her that i could never love her because my heart won't let me. i keep trying. i keep hoping. maybe just maybe with time i will start feeling something. but at this point, there is no hope. there is nothing. i feel empty. i just want to be alone...

i recall a dream. a day dream of happily ever after. two people so in love with one another... the world disappears around them and nothing else matters...

i dreamt of a princess. but that was long ago... now i dream of feeling nothing, no pain, no anger...

i wish i could just tell her... you were never the one i dreamt about. you were never the one that i wanted to share my life with... and i am afraid, there may be no one that i want to share my life with...

i don't say a word. i want to hug her and tell her that it will all be okay. but then, i know my hug means nothing... so i just turn and walk out the door once again... never meaning to return... though i never say a word, i know she will be better off without me. i pray that she finds what she is looking for... i know it isn't me...

as i walk out the door of the apartment building, something makes me look up... what i see is an angel, an angel falling from the sky. wait, that is no angel, it's the girl i just left behind.

a broken neck is what ended it all. a ninety some pound girl breaks my neck as she fell from a five story building... i guess she must have jumped wanting to end her life. her life didn't end. she is fine as my neck and body broke her fall. she found a new love of her life at the hospital, a doctor... while my body sits cold in a mortuary.

11 comments:

little things said...

"....and melt your cold, cold heart....."

awesome story, Larry. and great surprise ending. spooky!

Granny said...

Damnit Man! You been stayin away forever and you come up with THIS?? :(

larrykim said...

little things, yeah, i think it's spooky too... but, you do know that i didn't actually die... right?

granny, sorry, i just don't feel funny anymore... i write where my heart is, sometimes, i don't have much control over it...

Granny said...

You needsa git yur funnay BACK... We's a missin it..:(

Cynic with Flair said...

I like this, LK. Did this just come to you or was it part of a dream?

Anonymous said...

Wow, it was really creative, I've missed reading your blog, I've been away so long, but your was one of the first I've looked up again! :)

-Maria (aka girlwithin)

larrykim said...

cynic, i didn't dream it... i just came up with it... twisted mind of larry...

maria, so glad to hear from you. i hope you are doing well. i also hope your family is well.

Anonymous said...

Ohh we are doing well, thankyou! I'm attempting to go back and read some of your blogs so I don't feel so out of the loop, but I still will ask how you are these days. I hope all is going good on your end? -Maria

Anonymous said...

Ohh we are doing well, thankyou! I'm attempting to go back and read some of your blogs so I don't feel so out of the loop, but I still will ask how you are these days. I hope all is going good on your end? -Maria

Granny said...

Happy Thanksgiving Larry... I hope your Bird Day is the BEST!! Smoochies..

Memphis Steve said...

Angels are mean.